


but it would be ok

by torigates



Category: Bones (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-01 03:41:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1039929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Booth had taken Parker home for the night. Her father left with an awkward goodbye. Cam, Hodgins and Angela all left hours earlier.</p>
            </blockquote>





	but it would be ok

 

  
Booth had taken Parker home for the night. Her father left with an awkward goodbye. Cam, Hodgins and Angela all left hours earlier.

Brennan was alone in the lab. She tried to remind herself that she liked it this way; solitary and quiet. She finally had the chance to get some work done, and yet she couldn’t concentrate.

Things were different. Things had _been_ different for a while now, and Brennan didn’t completely understand why or what that meant.

After Booth’s birthday, things began to change.

Brennan felt guilty.

She wasn’t used to feeling guilty. She’s always made her choices and stood behind them wholeheartedly. She doesn’t second guess herself and maybe that was wrong, but she didn't make apologies.

She was wrong about Booth.

She could still see the look on Booth’s face as he yelled at her outside the interrogation room.

He was angry.

Brennan had seen Booth angry before, of course, but it was rarely directed at her. Confused, yes. Annoyed, definitely. But almost never angry, and at the time Brennan hadn’t understood what she had done wrong.

She had doubted Booth, forgotten who he was, and that was worst of all. She had hurt Booth, and she couldn’t forget that. Couldn’t forgive herself.

In her own way Brennan had apologized (and that _meant_ something, whether Booth knew it or not) and promised that it would never happen again.

She still felt guilty.

They haven’t talked about it. Sometimes Brennan thought things would be easier if they could just get things out in the open, but that would mean admitting things, confronting them. That was something Brennan just wasn’t ready to do. Not yet.

It had been a hard year.

Between her father and Russ, thinking she had lost Booth and actually losing Zack, Brennan had been through more than her fair share.

She wanted a break.

China was supposed to be that break, a chance for her to get lost in her work and forget—if only for a few days.

It didn’t happen. If Brennan was the kind of person who believed in bad luck following a person around, she would be tempted to believe that right about now. Of course she wasn’t that type of person, but that didn’t stop her from thinking (only sometimes) that death followed her.

Then she would tell herself to stop being completely illogical. She worked with bones; of course she was going to see death.

She told herself that it was easier to compartmentalize when the person had been dead for hundreds of years, but the truth was that death always affected her, still affected her, and sometimes it got to be too much.

Brennan was always the kind of person that threw herself into work. Even now, after four years of working with Booth and learning to raise her head every once and a while, sometimes she still got lost. Sometimes she still needed to, but Booth was always there to pull her back out again. Booth made their relationship work.

When he asked her if she was tired of working with him, it came as a shock. It was impossible to imagine her life without Booth in it.

Back when they started working together Brennan had never thought that the two of them would be a permanent thing, but here they were four years later. Maybe Brennan did need a break, but not from Booth.

Now her father was back, and Brennan didn’t know what to do.

She would never admit it to anyone, not even Angela or Booth, but some of what Sweets said made sense to her. She was so angry at her father, and however irrational it was she couldn’t make herself forget it.

(She still hated psychology.)

“Bones?”

Brennan looked up. The lab was completely dark, and Booth was standing in front of her.

“What are you doing here, Booth? I thought you took Parker home,” she said startled.

“I took him back to Rebecca’s. I called your apartment, but you weren’t there, so I came here.”

Brennan looked at him, and realised, really realised, that this man would do anything for her.

“You didn’t answer my question. What are you doing here, Booth?”

Booth shrugged. “I just thought you might like to get some food.”

“Really?”

“Of course, Bones. Why else would I be here?”

“To check up on me.”

Booth didn’t reply. He didn’t have to. She knew why he was there, and Brennan thought that was probably enough.

“Do you want to eat or not?” he asked eventually.

“Yes,” she said. “Let’s go.”

They drove to the diner in silence. Brennan watched Booth concentrate on the road, purposefully ignoring her staring at him.

Brennan wanted to ask, _how do you always know?_ Booth always knew exactly what she needed and when. He never pushed her too far, and he was always there, even when she didn’t know she needed him to be.

Booth ordered pie and tried to get her to have some as well.

“I’m not having pie, Booth,” she told him.

“Come on, Bones. Everyone wants pie after a long day.”

She shrugged. “Not me.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing,” he told her.

Brennan smiled. It was nice, the predictability of their relationship. Brennan wanted to hold on to that predictability as long as she could. Their relationship had been in the same place for so long, and now, finally, things were moving forward.

Brennan was quiet, watching him.

“What?” he asked.

Brennan shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

Booth looked at her. It’s not nothing. Come on, Bones,” he said. “You tell me everything. Especially stuff I don't want to know.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re always telling me disgusting facts about our cases, or the human body,” he paused. “Or your boyfriends. I’m sure I can handle whatever it is you’re thinking about.”

Brennan didn’t reply, and Booth didn’t push. _How do you know?_ she wanted to ask. _How do you know me so well?_

“Do you still go to church?” she asked instead.

Booth looked surprised. Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn’t that. “Yeah, Bones. I do.”

Brennan paused. “Can I come with you again?”

Booth hesitated.

“I’ll be quiet,” she promised. “And I won’t point out the implausibility of your superstitions.”

Booth looked briefly annoyed. “Look, Bones, they’re not superstitions. What do you want to come anyway? You obviously don’t have a new found faith.”

There was the reason. _I want to have faith,_ she wanted to say. _I want to know how you believe._

After a moment Booth seemed to see something on her face. “All right,” he said. “But you better not call Jesus a zombie again.”

Brennan smiled.

They ate their food in silence. Brennan could see Booth sneaking looks in her direction, but he didn’t say anything else.

 

 

The next case they worked involved a young woman murdered by her husband. They found her after she’d been dead for three months. No one had reported her missing.

It was a hard case, dead end after dead end, and Brennan was exhausted.

They all gave her space. Everyone knew she took the domestic cases hard, just like everyone knew to give Booth his space when they’re dealing with kids. They know each other’s weaknesses, when to give and when to take.

She found Booth in her office, waiting.

“What are you doing here, Booth?” she asked. It’s more out of habit now, than anything else.

“Waiting for you.”

Brennan didn’t say anything.

“Come on,” he said. “I’ll drive you home. You need rest.”

“I’m a grown woman, Booth. I’m perfectly capable of determining when I need rest,” she said with a huff.

“Capable, sure. But you never seem to actually follow through on that ability. You’d work yourself to starvation if no one checked on you.”

“I would not,” Brennan retorted.

“Whatever you say, Bones,” Booth said, backing off. “I’m still taking you home.”

Brennan allowed Booth to lead her out of her office.

They walked in silence for a few minutes. “I still want to go to church with you,” Brennan told him.

Booth looked surprised. Brennan liked that she could still surprise him. He looked at her. “Okay,” he said without argument.

Brennan wasn’t sure whether if he was agreeing because it had been a hard case for her, of if it was because he saw something in her face.

“Now,” she pressed.

“Now?”

“Yes, now. When else?”

“All right,” he said. “We can go now.”

Booth didn’t say anything in the car. Brennan studied him. “How often do you go to church?” she asked him.

He looked over. “I try to go every week,” he said.

“Try?” she asked.

“Well, yeah, Bones. Sometimes we have a case and I can’t go.”

“Isn’t that a sin?” she asked.

“Bones,” he warned.

“What?” she asked.

“Don’t start.”

“Don’t start what?”

“Don’t start on my religious beliefs, okay, Bones.”

“I was just asking a question, Booth,” Brennan protested.

“It’s your tone, Bones. It’s not an accepting tone of voice.”

Brennan huffed. “I was asking a question, Booth. How can a tone of voice be accepting?”

“Just drop it, Bones,” he said.

“How can I drop it? You brought it up.”

“Fine! I’m dropping it.”

“Fine,” she said.

When they arrived at the church Brennan started to walk up to the doors, but Booth grabbed her arm and held her back.

“Bones, wait.”

“What?” she asked.

“Why are we doing this?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why are we here?”

“I think that’s really more your area of expertise, Booth,” Brennan told him. “You’re the one that believes in a higher power.” She looked away.

“You asked me to bring you here, Temperance.” Brennan looked up sharply. “This isn’t for me,” he finished.

Brennan didn’t reply, she looked at Booth and thought maybe he understood.

“Let’s go inside,” he said eventually. Brennan followed.

Inside the church was quiet. There were a few people spread out in the pews.

“It’s dark in here,” Brennan whispered.

Booth shushed her. “It’s night, Bones. What did you expect?”

“Proper lighting?”

He glared at her. “Bones! Be quiet.”

Booth walked up to a pew and genuflected before entering. Brennan followed him. He knelt.

“Are you praying?” Brennan asked.

He glared. “Yes, Bones. I’m praying.”

“Should you be glaring at me when you’re praying?” she asked.

“Bones, please be quiet,” he hissed.

“Fine,” Brennan whispered, and sat back in her seat.

She watched Booth prey, and wondered for what felt like the millionth time, how he did it. She looked around, and wondered how all these people did it. Didn’t they know what the world was like? Brennan couldn’t understand how people could believe in God in a world where women were murdered by their husbands and no one noticed or cared.

After a moment, Booth sat back in their row. She could feel his shoulder pressing against her own. In that moment, the two of them sitting side by side, Brennan thought she maybe understood.

 

“You’re being quiet,” Booth said later when they were on their way back to her place.

“You should be thankful,” Brennan replied. “You’re the one who told me to be quiet in the first place.”

“I meant in the church, Bones,” Booth huffed.

“I’m just thinking,” Brennan said.

“What are you thinking about?”

Brennan didn’t reply. She didn’t know _how_ to reply. So much had changed between them, yet so much was exactly the same.

Booth drove to her apartment and stopped the car. He followed her when she got out.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Coming inside,” he told her.

“I didn’t invite you in, Booth.”

He looked surprised and maybe a little hurt. She relented, “All right, come on.”

Inside, Booth stared at her. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” she retorted.

“You’ve been acting weird today,” he said.

“No I haven’t.”

Booth put his hand on her elbow. “Listen, Bones, you don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable saying. I just want you to know I’m here.”

Brennan looked at him and _wanted_ to explain.

“It’s a lot,” she said eventually.

“I know,” he said. “It was a hard case.”

Brennan hesitated. Booth’s hand was warm on her arm. “It’s not—” She had to say it. She knew she had it say it. “It’s not only the case.”

Booth raised his eyebrows, but didn’t reply. She didn’t know what else to say. She looked down, and turned to go in the kitchen.

Booth didn’t let go of her arm. His hand slid down from her elbow to her wrist and held on.

“Booth, what—?”

He didn’t say anything. He pulled on her wrist until they were facing one another, and kept pulling until there wasn’t any space between them. Brennan wanted to say something, but couldn’t. At some point Booth had let go of her wrist, and put both hands on her face and kissed her.

Brennan doesn’t know why she was surprised. Everything about them has been leading up to this very moment, but it was still a shock.

Kissing Booth was like everything else they did together: exciting, new and confusing.

Then Booth wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and Brennan gave up on thinking. She fisted her hands in Booth’s shirt and kissed him back, wholeheartedly and without apology, just like everything else.

Booth stepped back, and Brennan knew what came next. He would stutter an awkward apology, and spend the next week avoiding her.

That wasn’t what happened.

Booth looked her in the eye, and they were both quiet for a long time. Eventually he reached out and took her wrist again, pulling her into a hug.

“Goodnight, Temperance.”

Brennan watched him walk out the door, and thought maybe she finally understood. They believed in each other. 


End file.
